Hi everyone...

Hi aunties and uncles..

My name is Hana Khadeeja Ahmad.

I am already 6 weeks old today.

I can say 'aaaah' and likes to smile whenever mama or tok mommy do funny faces.
I love looking at the fan and the curtains. I don't know why but they keep me fascinated.


I'm always hungry and drink my mama's milk all the time.
I weighed 3.8kg 2 weeks ago and I wonder what is my current weight.
I do look chubbier, don't you think?

I have trouble with sleeping.

Papa said I'm a light sleeper, just like mama.
So they bought me this colourful rocker with slow vibration (it felt just like in a car)..

My sweetest moment so far would be celebrating my very first raya with my Tok Mommy, aunties and uncles.

.. and my four cousins Abe Muttaqi, Abang Umar, Kakak Sarah and Abang Uzair

To my aunties Bonda and Mama Abe, thank you so much for this cute dress and hairband :)

I'll probably need a new one for Raya Haji pulak ;)

Selamat Hari Raya semua...

Today is the last day of Ramadhan and tomorrow we are all will be celebrating Eidulfitri. How time flies.

Since I am still in my confinement period, me and all my immediate family, for the second time in our life, will sambut our Raya here in Bangi, instead of going back to our beloved kampung di Pasir Mas, Kelate. Ala, rindunye kuah kacang Mek, her signature dish, mmg tersangat sedap, okay!! Papa who could never missed celebrating Eid at Mek's house already flew back to the east coast few days ago with my younger brother, Rasheeq.

Takpelah, kami berTIGA, me, my hubby and orang baru, Hana Khadeeja will probably balik kampung for Raya Haji. I don't want Hana to travel far since she is still so small and fragile.

Anyways, enuff of me rambling.
To all my family and Muslim friends and lovely readers out there:

SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.

Be safe on the road ya...

My baby is yellow!

Majority of newborns developed jaundice few days after birth. It's just a matter of mild or severe and Hana is no exception.

On second day of life, Dr Yong, Hana's neonatologist told me that she has slight jaundice, 154mmol to be exact. I wasn't that worried as she doesn't have any risk factor to get severe jaundice. Both of us are blood group O+ and she is not G6PD deficient. I requested to go home and promised to monitor her bilirubin level the next day. Knowing that I'm a paediatric medical officer, Dr Yong allowed Hana to be discharged but I must make sure that Hana gets enough milk to avoid dehydration and me to avoid makanan yang panas2 like halia, kunyit, pepper etc as it may worsened the jaundice (I'm not sure if the fact is true, I've never advised my pt to avoid these food though).

Jaundiced since D2

We went to An-Nur Medical Centre in Bangi the next day and (not surprisingly) Hana's bilirubin level went up to 230mmol (level to be admitted to my ward for phototherapy at D3 is 221mmol). I refused to go to Putrajaya or Serdang hospital due to long queue. I wish the hospital where I'm working is just nearby unfortunately it is like 1 hour drive from Bangi. Kan senang kalau masuk hospital sendiri, boleh lalu fastlane! I can prick her myself and get the results faster. I can even take the photolights and shine Hana in the oncall room (provided that my colleague doesn't mind).

Mama, I don't wanna get myself pricked today...

As Hana was just having mild neonatal jaundice, Dr Siti, pediatrician at An-Nur suggested that we rent photolight and shine Hana at home. We agreed to it immediately though it was quite expensive (RM 450 for 3D2N). Hana had to be stripped of her clothes down to her nappy for maximum exposure to the light and had to wear 'sunglasses' to prevent from eye damage.

Home phototherapy --> yg tak digunakan pun

Akan tetapi, Hana kan sangatlah restless and hated being put under the photo. She'll cry non stop the minute I put her eye cover on. Dahla susah nak tidur tapi I letak jugak bawah lampu.. for few minutes :p (Dr makes the worst pt, I'm telling u!). Macam2 cuba tapi she'll cry with her high pitched voice until I picked her up. Pernah sekali tu I pun nangis sekali bila tgk dia nangis coz I feel sorry for her.

Last2 tak guna pun photo tu. Ada la few times that I hold Hana and sit next to the blue light so that she indirectly benefited from it. I just hope that her bilirubin level doesn't increase further. From my own observation, she was still yellow until the abdomen but never went down till the leg so maknanya jaundice dia tak teruk sgt.

Alhamdulillah, her bilirubin level dropped to 170mmol at D5OL. Yeahhooo.. tak payah dah dok bawah photo (as if we ever used it).. Rasa macam melayang je duit RM450 tu..... Takpelah, janji Hana Khadeeja sihat... kan Hana kan....

I'm sleep walking..

Hana at D12 of life: an adorable lil gal but wait till she cry...

It's day 19 post partum.. means baby Hana Khadeeja is already 19 days old going to be day 20 tomorrow. Lambatnye masa berlalu, I can't wait for 40 days to be over and I hope it happens quickly. I think I did not prepare myself enough on motherhood, mentally and physically that is.

The first day that I brought Hana home to her Tok Ayah and Mommy's (my anak buah all called her grandma: mommy) house in Bangi, the whole household went uproar. She cried non stop for hours!! She was such a drama queen, my cousin nicknamed her. Even menangis on top of her lungs masa changed nappy that my dad (who had vision problem) thought that she was sick and unwell. We could't sleep the whole night and luckily my mom was there to help us. I alternate shift with her, rocking and holding Hana until she fell asleep. I was dumbfounded and did not know what went wrong with her that night: was it colic? was she hungry as my breast milk was still minimal? was it something mystical? I still could not figure it out.

My main problem even when Hana is 19 days old is that she has such an erratic sleep cycle. She sleeps MORE during the day and awake at night. What I mean by MORE is like 1 hour MAX! Most of the time, she'll BF until she dozes off and wakes up 15 minutes after I put her in the cot. She is such a light sleeper and stirred a lot. I noticed that she takes a longer nap if being hold, pat or rocked.

I feel like a zombie as I only get 1-2 hours of (interrupted) sleep per day and that is like doing back to back calls! It gets even worse at night that I finally decided to let her sleep prone on my chest or in my arms, for her and my sake.

There are so many other problems that I have to deal with: dry and cracked nipples, breast engorgement, back pain, my unresolving skin rash, and my baby's needs to BF every hour! I got depressed and there were times that I wanted to break down and cry!!!!

My hubby suggested to introduce formula milk and picifier and my dad asked us to get a rocker but I refused all of them (at the moment) . I congratulate my hubby as he tried to support me as much as he can but it would be such a great help if he has a pair of milk producing boobs!!

My mom said that it is normal for babies to have sleep problems especially babies dalam hari. She told me that things will get better once the baby reaches 1 month +.

So far, I'm still holding on and wishing and praying that everything that I'm stressed about will improve after habis pantang.

P/s I wonder how my mom handled all the 7 of us. She sure is the queen of my heart!

No wonder lah syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu..