great.. just great..

Our Malaysian football team, did the country proud by winning the Suzuki AFF cup for the first time!
Kudos to them (clap clap) for a job well done.

I know everyone is jumping with joy as tomorrow is officially announced as public holiday. But I am not one of those happy people.

You know why???

I'll be oncall, that's why (sour face)!!

P/s This will be my last entry of the year, I promise! cross finger :p

Somebody, please slap me!

I need to start studying and stop spending time in front of the PC!!

My MRCPCH exam is in 4 months time, though I haven't actually sign up for it yet. It would've cost me around RM2500 not including expenses for accomodation and transportation (exam is in Singapore unfortunately.. sigh). I haven't figure out how to juggle between study, work (+doing calls) and family. Note to myself: need to ask Putri and Azwini for tips!

As for now, I have to STOP blogwalking, facebooking and online shopping, though they are very very addictive. Hence, this entry will be my last post for this year and you won't be seeing me for quite a while.. I hope :p

By the way, what is your 2011 new year's resolution? Mine, I need to shed off some extra pounds and those unwanted post pregnancy fat. Thus, I have to stick to my minimal carbo diet and workout plan (though I do not have anything in mind yet). Wish me luck!!!

Finally, to all my readers, friends and family..

Happy new year everybody and may 2011 brings you happiness and joy.

Congratulations..

To my dear cousin, Abg Long (Farihan Irfan) and his lucky wife, Nik..

Congratulations to both of you and have a great life ahead.

Can't wait for your wedding reception in March next year!

Cutipie Putri posing with the bride and groom.

Penatnye...

I am sooo tired these days. All these premmies less than 1kg are a challenge to work with. I never like handling neonates. I'm telling you, they are so fragile and get infections very easily. I loss count as to how many times I wash my hands before and after touching or examining them.

We loss so many babies this past month that it disheartened me. It tires me out. I never like disclosing to parents when their babies are born abnormal, not doing well or when they are dying despite all your effort to treat them. I admit, I do get teary eyes during counselling sessions. My gosh, the parents are so brave and I can't imagine being in their unfortunate shoes. Looking back, I am so blessed with a normal and healthy baby.

I'll be oncall tomorrow, something that I never look forward to (who does??). My NICU had an unfortunate event today. Leaking from the roof causing banjir kilat in our unit. So we were forced to close down our acute cubicle which can place 8 ventilated babies! So I am practically short of beds. Please, please God, janganlah sampai takde tempat to the extend that I have to transfer patient ex-utero to other hospitals in Klang Valley!! To all babies in my ward and to all pregnant mothers out there, promise me, please stay healthy.

Do u know that..

the most annoying word/phrases of 2010 are.. jeng..jeng.. (drumroll please..)

1) Whatever
it must be pronounced exactly like this 'what-ehv-errr'
often used by teenagers alike..

2) Like
eg you know like when he said he's okay with sumthin but actually he's not okay with it.. like when i said, cantik tak i pakai stilleto 4 inci kaler pink terkejut nih? and he said Canteeekk but he did not actually mean it.

3) You know what I mean
added at the end of a sentence to make it sound dirty
eg
A: Hey you got the part Juliet for the play.
B: Well, it's because of a one to one tutoring with the director, if you know what I mean..

4) To tell you the truth

5) Actually
- definetly overused in presentations kan.. kan..

So, what is your most annoying phrases?

I dream of jeannie!

I need a Jeannie.. NOW! I'm too lazy to do anything.

I've been wanting to eat triffle since last week and had my other half get the ingredients and everything ready. Except tukang masak ni yang pemalas nak memulakan kerja2 memasak.. yes i know, triffle is super duper easy.. yes i know I am pathetic.

But I do have my own reason... my mom's kitchen is currently going thru a makeover! Pintu dah terkopak, sinki nye yg dah rosak etc.. Our 22 year old kitchen cabinet (from 1988 to date) needs a change. So, malasla nak masak coz tukang tu dok sibuk je kat dapur screwing and hammering.

Hence, my project memasak will be put on hold until further notice :p

I missed..

1) going out for Friday lunch with colleagues..

2) watching midnite movies every week with hubby

3) offline shopping (online shopping becomes a habit now)

4) waking up late on weekends

5) confinement leave

6) Hana the most!

Monday, u r not welcomed

Arrgghhhhh... am so NOT looking forward to go to work tomorrow. These last 2 days were spent with Hana, playing with her, hugging and kissing her. I'm gonna miss her for the next 5 days away at work.

I'm still worried as Hana is still coughing quite frequently. But thank god, so far she never had fever and there is no signs that the germs has spread to the lungs. I'm positive that she is having viral infection but after a week of persistent cough, I am now contemplating whether I should start her on antibiotics. When it comes to your own daughter, I've become freakingly insecure.

Oh, by the way, Hana will turn 4 months old tomorrow. The last time that I weigh her was 2 weeks ago and she was already 6.6kg. Developmentally, she can laugh and scream. She started to reach for objects and can hold her head up high when put prone. This is the latest picture of her, my darling little girl.

Happy 4 months old, dear Hana Khadeeja.

We are sick..

I am guilty as charged!

I have been suffering from cough and cold for almost 1 week. At the moment, my voice sounds like a guy, hoarse due to unresolved laryngitis.

Since I started working, the only time spent with Hana is 30 minutes before she goes to bed. So I really treasure these precious moments. As I am down with upper respiratory tract infection, I was extra careful not to transmit the virus to my little girl. The first thing that I do when I reached home was to change my clothes, washed my hands and wore a mask. I couldn't resist not carrying or feeding Hana but I avoid kissing her. I also sleep in different room and to my dear hubby, thanks for doing the night shift for the last 1 week!

Unfortunately, yesterday I noticed that Hana was a bit more fretful than usual. Last night I can hear her breath when she is asleep and her nose sound congested. She also started coughing!!! So far, her temperature hasn't spike and I hope and pray that her upper respiratory tract infection doesn't progress to bronchiolitis.

I'm worried as I'll be doing calls on Wednesday and Friday (yes, EOD!) and won't be around to monitor her.

Hana, Mama pray that you'll have a speedy recovery. I'm soooo sorry that I passed you the evil bug!

I can hear u Hana

I'm currently still staying with my parents in Bangi. Travelling back and forth to the hospital usually takes about 35 minutes on a jam free days during this school break. I probably will be moving back to my house in Shah Alam in 3 weeks time after the mini renovation completed.

Since Hana now is able to fall asleep on her own and has predictable night feeds at 11pm and 5am, I'm planning to set up her very own nursery room. That means I have to get a baby surveillance system that allows me to monitor Hana from my bedroom or anywhere else within the house. A good baby monitor doesn't come cheap.

Babyproducts .com recommended AVENT Basic Monitor with DECT technology (interference free) but it cost da bomb RM 455.20 after less! Unfortunately a lot of user reviews online commented that this monitor has sound problem which means that you can only hear your baby when she cries and bawling her hearts out! If that's the case, I don't need a monitor as I can even hear her crying through the walls!But this one seemed more affordable. RM 280 at Fabulousmom.com..

I'm still confused as to which one to buy. Both are quite expensive and mind you, this is just an audio monitor. Video baby monitors are much2 pricey!

My gosh.. it is soooo hard...

Yesterday was my very first time leaving Hana. Eventhough I was on leave, I still had to do calls as my department did not have enough medical officer. I was REALLY sad as I had to leave Hana overnight and her sleep training is not yet over. I would probably need another 2 weeks to really train her to sleep on her own. I did request from my boss to extend my cuti for several reasons unfortunately it was rejected.. Damn!

I spent my time in the hospital and I admit, I cried alone in the oncall room that night as I missed Hana soooo much eventhough she would probably be fast asleep at home. I also noticed that each time I see small kiddo in ill health, I became overtly emotional. I am blessed thus far that Hana is well and has never fall sick.

There was a small infant who is about Hana's age who was ventilated in the intensive care unit for Streptococcal meningitis. She is very2 ill and I felt sorry for the baby and the family. I realized that those children who get infected by this germ called Streptococcal pneumoniae are usually very2 sick and few even succumbed due to severe pneumonia or meningitis.

Vaccination against this bug is unfortunately not in the KKM immunization schedule (yet) but is readily available at private hospitals. Eventhough it is a bit pricey but it is better than risk your child's life. So I urge all of you, to make sure that your loved ones receive Pneumococcal vaccination before it is too late.

1 down, another 26 days to go..

Today is my first day of ganti puasa. I had a total of 27 days of replacing to do since Hana was born on the 4th of Ramadhan.

What I missed most is breakfast. The rest of the meal, I can get by.

I noticed that I did not eat that much these days since I started Hana on sleep boot camp. I was so stressed up as her naps are so difficult to tackle that it took a toll on me. The authors of all the books I read did day that naps are more difficult to iron out compare to nightime sleep. I hope that Hana will get proper nap before I started working.

To Hana, caiyok! Mama is always by your side!

Day 6 sleep bootcamp

I did mention in the previous entry that Hana has sleep problem. She is 3 months old but is an avid catnapper. She relies on being rocked to sleep by bibik and will only being hold. She loves pacifying me and will wake up the minute the nipple is out of her mouth!! It is going to become a major problem once I strated working since I'll be doing 36 hours oncall 6-8 times/month. And since Hana is thriving well (her current weight is 6.5kg), tak lama lagi patah pinggang bibik kalau nak kena rock her to sleep and carry her 1-2 hours each time. She also sleeps restlessly at night and appeared unsettled. So I started reading 3 books on how to help your baby to sleep and has been applying Tizzie Halls method to teach Hana the skill of self settling and to sleep on her own.

Today is day 6 of sleep bootcamp. Yesterday, Hana starts to become cranky since 5pm. I know that she was sleepy. After bathing, feeding and burping her, it was already 6.30pm. I put Hana in her cot, baca ayat kursi and 3 Qul, then I kissed her goodnight and tell her that mama loves her very much and she needs to learn to sleep on her own. I closed the door and waited outside. She started to protest cry for 15 minutes before falling asleep.

I went to bed at 9pm after I finished pumping and performed Isyak prayer. My hubby gave Hana her dreamfeed at 11pm and let me catch up on my sleep. Hana woke up twice at night around 2am and 3am , cried a bit but I did not pick her up as I know she was not hungry. After about 1 minute she was able to put herself to sleep! She woke up again at 4.00am, cried a bit louder and I fed her since her least milk was 5 hours ago. She woke up at 6.30 am cheerfully playing with her musical mobile. So in total, Hana had about 12hours of night sleep and only woke up for feed once.

I played with her and did some limbs and tummy exercise. I fed her around 8am and I put her to sleep around 8.15am. She cried for 5 minutes before falling asleep and woke up 30 minutes after that. She naps for 30 minutes every 2 hours so in total she had about 2 hours of day sleep.

By 5.00pm she became cranky and crying non stop and I know she wanted to sleep. So following the bedtime routine, I bath, feed and burped her. She appeared happy once I put her in the cot. I kissed her goodnight and closed the door. Amazingly, she did not cry and fall asleep after 15 minutes!!!

I am ssoo happy. Tizzie Hall did say that once your baby learn the skill to self settle with minimal fuss , the baby will soon able to sleep longer during the day as she is able to learn to resettle. I am so looking forward to that!!

Mama.. tolong hana tido..

My baby Hana is already 3 months + 4 days today.. She is such an adorable baby especially now that she babbles non stop.
But the problem with Hana is that she has sleep problem even way back when she was in neonatal age. Quite restless I might say (considering that she is my first born, so I don't have any other babies to compare her with).

She only falls asleep after being rocked, hold and at night she dozes off after 1 hour + 30 minutes at my breast (it was not fun I tell you since my nip became sore after a while). She also wakes up for night feed twice sometimes thrice which makes me and hubby sleep deprived. Since we co-sleep, I also noticed that she tossed and turned a lot at night from around 2am till 5am. I checked everything to make sure that she is comfortable: she's not cold or overheated, her diapers was not that wet and etc but she still appeared restless.

Catnapping during the day became a big problem for her. She sleeps atas kendong bibik and the minute her head touches the bed, she opened her eyes. Same goes when she was with me. The only way I can get her to sleep is during BF since she recognizes me from my distinct scent. Nak tido jer, she starts looking and searching for the breast. After 10 minutes of BF (or most likely comfort sucking, she started to close her eyes. After half and hour I thought she was already sound asleep but boy, was I wrong. She'll open her eyes once I took out the nipple. I tried giving her dummy but she refused. My mom suggested us to put Hana but I said NO since it is a bad habit.

I pity Hana. On average, she only sleeps about 1 hour during the day and 10 hours at night (but restless). A baby of her age supposed to have a good 15 hours of sleep (5 hours during the day and the rest at night).

So I decided that it's about time that my baby girl needs an intervention. A dear friend of mine suggested a book by Tizzie Hall called Save Our Sleep. The book teaches babies to fall asleep by themselves without the help of dummy, rocker, lullaby, kendong etc..The baby has to learn the skill of self settling /self soothing which is an important lifetime skill. He'll learn to feel calm in other situation too such as when mommy momentarily walked out of the room or when he is just feeling out of sort.

My sleep obsession

An international study (including Malaysia) showed that babies who sleep earlier, falling asleep by themselves and sleep in their own cot, sleep longer and has more quality sleep!!

The most improtant thing this book tells you is to follow a regular bed/naptime and consistent bedtime routine such as taking a bath followed by feeding or a story (babies thrive on consistency). The baby must be put to sleep at a place where you intend for her to wake up and she must be put to bed AWAKE so that she'll learn the skill to self settle. It is just like crawling. If you always carry your baby or put him in a walker, he'll never learn how to crawl since he'll never be on the floor long enough to work it out.

This book also taught us to differentiate babies' different cry. Emotional cry in which the sound will be something like WAA, WAA, WAA (loud and persistent with same tone through out) means that the baby is in distress due to hunger or wet nappy or too cold/hot. Thus you must attend to your baby immediately. A protest cry on the other hand sounds like WA, WAA, WAAA, WAA, WA, pause, WAA, pause (different intonation with few pauses). This means that the baby is protesting and requested to be hold or rocked. It doesn't indicate anything serious.

In the initial part of the process, a baby like Hana who is so used to being rocked and fed to sleep will have a bit of protest cry and need more time to practice. That means, putting Hana to bed AWAKE, letting her cry and NOT doing anything!! Imagine doing that to your loved ones!!!!

So far I'm still in the process of letting Hana to learn to self soothe. On the first day, she cried 30 minutes straight!!! I dengar pun nak nangis jugak and really tempted to go in and pick her. But I know, I'm doing this for her own sake. After 3 days, Hana is still learning but she cried shorter. Tonight she fell asleep after 15 minutes of crying (and I hope she'll keep improving after this)! I'll probably post an entry of my struggle with Tizzie Hall's sleep routine.

Wish me and Hana good luck ya.

What a day!

Today my shopaholicness (is there such a word?) took over me! I left Hana with my mom and 2 bibik at home and me and hubby embarked on a journey to heaven.

Hehehe.. we first went for a retail therapy at Big Bad Wolf warehouse sale at South City Plaza and boy, was I in for a big surprise. Te price at the sale was super duper cheap with everything ranged from RM 3 to RM 20, from famous novels to cookbooks. Memang nak giler weh! I've been wanting to buy Hana few books to read for her and perasaan tamak terus merasuk diri. I bought for her >20 books and few novels for myself. They all would've cost me more than a thousand ringgit but I only paid RM 200!!!!

Then off we went to Mothercare sale at Bangsar Shopping Centre to buy Hana few new bodysuits since she has outgrown most of them. Since I am a VIP card holder, I am entitled to an additional 10% on total purchase. So we got her 2 packets of bodysuits before going to Pureen stock clearance in PJ.

Luckily we didn't bring Hana along as it was cramped with eager parents. We bought baby wipes, bottle cleanser, shampoo and baby bath but not the diapers as Hana is using Huggies and occasionally Mami Poko. Borong punya banyak macam stock untuk setahun!!

Ish3x...

these sandals are made for walking...

Guess what? WHAATTT??

Sebab tension dgn issue di previous entry, I decided to go for a shopping spree and went for Hush puppies warehouse sale at PJ today.

Eventhough sandals dah banyak, but i still treat myself with another 3 new pairs.. Tadaaa..

To wear to work.. hehehe.. nampak sgt selekehnya tak pakai covered shoes ;p

Tamak.. instead of one pair, i bought 2.. Coz they only cost RM 20 each.. yes rm 20 (displayed item yg takde defect pun)!!

ya, cik2 dan puan2.. sila jeles ;p

Isn't it cute.. my new flats..(perasan tak ;p).. it only costs me rm50!!

Issue bibik that gives me headache!!

Bengang betul!!!!

I paid almost 5K to this Indon guy who act as an agent to get me an Indon maid. My mom's maid (whom we got thru him as well) though not perfect but is well trained. She can cook, iron and do house chores and doesn't need supervision. My mom as always, being perfectionist, mesti ada yg tak puas hati, sapu tak bersih lah, buat kerja tak cermat lah and etc.. to meet up to her expectation is almost impossible. But for me, she's damn good if you want to compare with my maid!!!! Macam langit dan bumi tau &*^^%#$#$@#

I beforehand, specifically told the agent that I need someone who is reaaly good with children as I need her to take care of my baby. Since I need to go for 36 hours calls 8 times in a month, the maid must know how to cook while I'm gone.

My maid just arrived a week ago. Guess what??? She comes from pedalaman mana ntah with no electricity or water supply!!!!!!!!!! Can u imagine, she has no experience handling electrical appliances be it rice cooker, iron, washing machine, stove, vaccum cleaner and the list goes on and on... I (actually my mom's maid) even had to teach her how to use the toilet!!!! Haiihh.. baik amik org asli jer...

I've become very stressed up. Her hygine is questionable. How can I let her hold Hana, handle her bottles or prepare her milk?????? Tension toksah nak kata la.

Okay.. okay.. kesian pun ada jugak since she comes from a very poor family who don't even have enough food to eat. *Tapi aku tgk tak kurus pun macam org Afrika* Kita pulak siap boleh bagi ikan and nasik kat The Strays (kumpulan kucing2 terbiar dan tak bertuan belakang umah).

Tapi kesian jadi benci pulak. She has few male friends living in Malaysia. So my mom's maid (who acts as our 007 now) report to me that she calls and SMS them every night sampai pukul 2-3 pagi. Tapi my mom's maid faham skit2 jer since my maid talks in Lombok language. I can't take it anymore when my spy told me that she overheard my maid asking her guy friend to find her a job as a salegirl kat mana2 kedai... What the @$%@$% is she doing??!!

Kita dah la ikhlas nak tolong dia sbb org susah lah kononye and she is secretly planning to flee (or flea?) from my house. Tak guna punya org!! I better send her back. Mmg menakutkan la sbb ramai kawan lelaki kan. Kotnya rompak rumah kita ke, bawak lari Hana nanti ker mana tau kan????

My husband called Pak Zul who is our agent dgn bengangnye coz we truly felt cheated... I demand to get a new maid straight away.. bayar je mahal and janji bagai2, signed, sealed but not delivered as promised!

Isu bibik ni is stressing me up. Dah la milk supply kurang, makin la skit production when I had to deal with this issue.

Pening2...

I'm very concern..

I'm coming back to work on 21st of November after 3 months of leave (2 months of maternity and 1 month of my own cuti rehat). I'm in dilemma when it comes to babysitter issue.

Since I started working in my current hospital, I have encountered >10 cases of shaken baby syndrome and most of these children were either taken care by the maid or pengasuh. It is difficult to point finger on who the guilty party, either their mom/dad or the caretaker based on the proof that we had that is the CT scan findings. We had one baby died, few children left debilitating and some lucky ones survived without any neurological deficit. So, amat mengerikan ya jika ia berlaku pada keluarga sendiri or in fact to any children.

I wish my parents live nearby so that my mom can look after my baby but that's not gonna happen as they stay about 1 hour from our home. To send to nursery along with 20 other kids is totally out of question. Knowing Hana, she is a restless and fussy baby. Nak tido punya la susah unless you cradle her. She is really unpredictable.

So I decided to get an Indonesian maid (yg tak sampai lagi ke Msia) to take care of Hana. Since none of them boleh dipercaya, I realized that the best option is to drop my baby and the maid of at my sister's house in Kota Damansara before going to the hospital and pick them up later after work. My sister's bibik has been with her for more than 10 years and she is consider part of family. So I expect her to train and supervise my bibik while I'm gone.

Unfortunately, Kak Mar (my sis's bibik) will be going back to Medan, her hometown for 1 month in December!! Sape nak supervise my bibik? Takkan la dia nak jaga Hana sorang2?

Will she bathe my baby properly? Will she change Hana's wet nappy on time? Will she feed Hana and not let starved? Will she love Hana like I do? Entah2 dia cubit2 Hana or bawak lari Hana, mana la tau kan??? Pasang CCTV pun tak guna kalau benda dah terjadi kan.

Haiiiihhh.. susahnye nak buat keputusan. Help me decide since I'm about to start work in a month time!!!

Allergic??

My little Hana is currently 7 weeks old. I am (really2) sad to admit that I have not been exclusively breast fed Hana since 1 month old for certain reasons that I shall not discussed here. I would love for Hana to only receive her Mama's milk unfortunately I gave in and started supplementing her with Enfalac.. huhu..dengan penuh rasa sedih dan kesalnye :-(. I feel like a failure for not being able to provide the best for my baby but I believe my decision was called for. Well, let's not be sad here kay..

Anyways, Hana has been having skin problems since day 2 of life. She probably got it from me.. remember PUPP incident??.. It started of as harmless erythema toxicum on the cheek but later on the rashes had spread to both her earlobes, eyebrows and even around the lips.

It did appear like a benign skin condition but my ego tercabar sungguh when my bibik said to me "Nggak mau bawak Hana jumpa doktor? Kulitnya tak baik2".. I was like, "Hellooooo, I am a doctor and children's illness is my field of interest, okay !! Macam tak percaya kat aku plak. I should be able to diagnose this. Easy peasy, it's just miliaria crystalina / rubra and seborrheic dermatitis." Her statement was an insult to my intelligence.

But then again, this is my daughter that we are talking about and when it comes to your own blood, the feeling of insecurity quickly sets in. Hmm, kan I ada boss pediatrician :-) Nak pegi to my working place dari Bangi punye la jauh so I emailed him along with Hana's picture for 2nd opinion and true enough, my diagnosis was right.. yayyy.. just apply hydrocortisone cream and aquous cream and it will all go away..

NOT! Hana's rashes persist till 2 days ago when it got red and itchy that it disturbed her sleep. She also developed loose stool and her bum apperaed slightly red. I was in shock with my inability to diagnose this very commom skin problem earlier, it was ECZEMA!!! How can I missed it, duhhh.. Hana was having eczema, diarrhea, colic and flatulence. It all fit the description of Cow's milk allergy though I don't have any family history of allergy or atopy. So poor little Hana, I have been indirectly causing her to suffer by feeding her susu lembu. Dahla fail to exclusively BF dia, dapat plak masalah alahan.

Some children who are allergic to cow's milk are allergic to soy milk too. So, now I have started Hana on Nestle Nan Ha 1 Pro (partially hydrolized milk) and surprisingly after 1 day, her eczematous skin has much improved, there's no more redness or itchiness. Her skin is still a bit dry so I applied aquous cream cream as often as I can. Her diarrhea has resolved. Previously she poo pooed about 5-6 times soft to watery stool but as today, she only passed motion twice, with normal stool consistency.

So, from now on, Hana will be on hypoallergenic formula so does my future kids...

Hi everyone...

Hi aunties and uncles..

My name is Hana Khadeeja Ahmad.

I am already 6 weeks old today.

I can say 'aaaah' and likes to smile whenever mama or tok mommy do funny faces.
I love looking at the fan and the curtains. I don't know why but they keep me fascinated.


I'm always hungry and drink my mama's milk all the time.
I weighed 3.8kg 2 weeks ago and I wonder what is my current weight.
I do look chubbier, don't you think?

I have trouble with sleeping.

Papa said I'm a light sleeper, just like mama.
So they bought me this colourful rocker with slow vibration (it felt just like in a car)..

My sweetest moment so far would be celebrating my very first raya with my Tok Mommy, aunties and uncles.

.. and my four cousins Abe Muttaqi, Abang Umar, Kakak Sarah and Abang Uzair

To my aunties Bonda and Mama Abe, thank you so much for this cute dress and hairband :)

I'll probably need a new one for Raya Haji pulak ;)

Selamat Hari Raya semua...

Today is the last day of Ramadhan and tomorrow we are all will be celebrating Eidulfitri. How time flies.

Since I am still in my confinement period, me and all my immediate family, for the second time in our life, will sambut our Raya here in Bangi, instead of going back to our beloved kampung di Pasir Mas, Kelate. Ala, rindunye kuah kacang Mek, her signature dish, mmg tersangat sedap, okay!! Papa who could never missed celebrating Eid at Mek's house already flew back to the east coast few days ago with my younger brother, Rasheeq.

Takpelah, kami berTIGA, me, my hubby and orang baru, Hana Khadeeja will probably balik kampung for Raya Haji. I don't want Hana to travel far since she is still so small and fragile.

Anyways, enuff of me rambling.
To all my family and Muslim friends and lovely readers out there:

SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.

Be safe on the road ya...

My baby is yellow!

Majority of newborns developed jaundice few days after birth. It's just a matter of mild or severe and Hana is no exception.

On second day of life, Dr Yong, Hana's neonatologist told me that she has slight jaundice, 154mmol to be exact. I wasn't that worried as she doesn't have any risk factor to get severe jaundice. Both of us are blood group O+ and she is not G6PD deficient. I requested to go home and promised to monitor her bilirubin level the next day. Knowing that I'm a paediatric medical officer, Dr Yong allowed Hana to be discharged but I must make sure that Hana gets enough milk to avoid dehydration and me to avoid makanan yang panas2 like halia, kunyit, pepper etc as it may worsened the jaundice (I'm not sure if the fact is true, I've never advised my pt to avoid these food though).

Jaundiced since D2

We went to An-Nur Medical Centre in Bangi the next day and (not surprisingly) Hana's bilirubin level went up to 230mmol (level to be admitted to my ward for phototherapy at D3 is 221mmol). I refused to go to Putrajaya or Serdang hospital due to long queue. I wish the hospital where I'm working is just nearby unfortunately it is like 1 hour drive from Bangi. Kan senang kalau masuk hospital sendiri, boleh lalu fastlane! I can prick her myself and get the results faster. I can even take the photolights and shine Hana in the oncall room (provided that my colleague doesn't mind).

Mama, I don't wanna get myself pricked today...

As Hana was just having mild neonatal jaundice, Dr Siti, pediatrician at An-Nur suggested that we rent photolight and shine Hana at home. We agreed to it immediately though it was quite expensive (RM 450 for 3D2N). Hana had to be stripped of her clothes down to her nappy for maximum exposure to the light and had to wear 'sunglasses' to prevent from eye damage.

Home phototherapy --> yg tak digunakan pun

Akan tetapi, Hana kan sangatlah restless and hated being put under the photo. She'll cry non stop the minute I put her eye cover on. Dahla susah nak tidur tapi I letak jugak bawah lampu.. for few minutes :p (Dr makes the worst pt, I'm telling u!). Macam2 cuba tapi she'll cry with her high pitched voice until I picked her up. Pernah sekali tu I pun nangis sekali bila tgk dia nangis coz I feel sorry for her.

Last2 tak guna pun photo tu. Ada la few times that I hold Hana and sit next to the blue light so that she indirectly benefited from it. I just hope that her bilirubin level doesn't increase further. From my own observation, she was still yellow until the abdomen but never went down till the leg so maknanya jaundice dia tak teruk sgt.

Alhamdulillah, her bilirubin level dropped to 170mmol at D5OL. Yeahhooo.. tak payah dah dok bawah photo (as if we ever used it).. Rasa macam melayang je duit RM450 tu..... Takpelah, janji Hana Khadeeja sihat... kan Hana kan....

I'm sleep walking..

Hana at D12 of life: an adorable lil gal but wait till she cry...

It's day 19 post partum.. means baby Hana Khadeeja is already 19 days old going to be day 20 tomorrow. Lambatnye masa berlalu, I can't wait for 40 days to be over and I hope it happens quickly. I think I did not prepare myself enough on motherhood, mentally and physically that is.

The first day that I brought Hana home to her Tok Ayah and Mommy's (my anak buah all called her grandma: mommy) house in Bangi, the whole household went uproar. She cried non stop for hours!! She was such a drama queen, my cousin nicknamed her. Even menangis on top of her lungs masa changed nappy that my dad (who had vision problem) thought that she was sick and unwell. We could't sleep the whole night and luckily my mom was there to help us. I alternate shift with her, rocking and holding Hana until she fell asleep. I was dumbfounded and did not know what went wrong with her that night: was it colic? was she hungry as my breast milk was still minimal? was it something mystical? I still could not figure it out.

My main problem even when Hana is 19 days old is that she has such an erratic sleep cycle. She sleeps MORE during the day and awake at night. What I mean by MORE is like 1 hour MAX! Most of the time, she'll BF until she dozes off and wakes up 15 minutes after I put her in the cot. She is such a light sleeper and stirred a lot. I noticed that she takes a longer nap if being hold, pat or rocked.

I feel like a zombie as I only get 1-2 hours of (interrupted) sleep per day and that is like doing back to back calls! It gets even worse at night that I finally decided to let her sleep prone on my chest or in my arms, for her and my sake.

There are so many other problems that I have to deal with: dry and cracked nipples, breast engorgement, back pain, my unresolving skin rash, and my baby's needs to BF every hour! I got depressed and there were times that I wanted to break down and cry!!!!

My hubby suggested to introduce formula milk and picifier and my dad asked us to get a rocker but I refused all of them (at the moment) . I congratulate my hubby as he tried to support me as much as he can but it would be such a great help if he has a pair of milk producing boobs!!

My mom said that it is normal for babies to have sleep problems especially babies dalam hari. She told me that things will get better once the baby reaches 1 month +.

So far, I'm still holding on and wishing and praying that everything that I'm stressed about will improve after habis pantang.

P/s I wonder how my mom handled all the 7 of us. She sure is the queen of my heart!

No wonder lah syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu..

Priceless moments..

4th Ramadhan..

I started to have contraction from that morning it self and went to see Dr Idora for check up (refer to prev post). Balik je from Pantai Bangsar, my husband dah tanya "Tak nak bukak puasa? You are starting to have contraction pain. I'm sure Mxx hilang selera makan once the pain becomes more frequent. Abang rasa berdebar2, I have a feeling that we are having a baby tonite." But then, I wasn't keen to break my fast but what my husband said was true. So we headed to Burger King drive thru for a bite of Swiss Mushroom burger before going back to our house in Bukit Jelutong.

I lied in bed the whole afternoon as the pain was increasing in frequency and intensity. I was supposed to be admitted at night for induction of labour but looking at how the contraction was progressing, I was sure that I did not require prostin after all.

My dad called few times and advised us to go to PMC ASAP. After much deliberation, my hubby and I decided to make a move around 6pm. To avoid the traffic along the Federal Highway and the congestion of cars heading to Bazar Ramadhan @ Stadium Shah Alam, we opt for NKVE and NPE instead. Labour room, here i come!



Arriving sharp at 6.15pm, I was immediately wheeled to the labour room and vaginal examination revealed that I was 3cm dilated! Mak aii.. at that time sakitnya contraction mmg tak terkata!!!! Sebab tak tahan sgt, I told the staff nurse that I need epidural immediately. But the nurse said, my contraction was only 2 in 10 minutes, not strong and I should give myself another hour. Fine, I tried to walk around in my room, in and out of toilet and baring kiri dan kanan to distract myself but seriously, the pain became too unbearable! Rasanya nak terpatah tulang my hubby sbb I squeezed his hands too hard.
I finally gave in, called the nurse again and requested for epidural STAT. Unfortunately, the anaesthesiologist only came 2 hours after and this particular staff nurse told the dr (in front of me!) that my contraction was not that intense and it was just me who could not stand the pain! What the heck? I was so pissed off with her and it's me who is paying for it, not you!!! Bengang betul la....

Luckily the anaes was nice. The medication worked like magic. I felt numb from my waist down and cuoldn't even feel any flinch of pain at all except for on and off hardening of abdomen during contraction. Shortly after that, all my family members arrived (after iftar at Museum Islam) and only mommy was allowed in to see me. The first thing that I asked her, " Sedap tak bukak puasa kat Muzium Islam?" I felt touched coz my mom said this year was not as meriah as last year coz me and hubby plus few of my siblings (Eida and Rasheeq) couldn't come. So makanan pun rasa lain macam aje...

Dr Idora finally came around 11.30pm. CTG so far was reactive (means baby's heart beat is okay) and my contraction was good (tell that to the nurse just now!). VE showed that my os was already 4cm dilated and she decided to do artificial rupture of membrane (ARM). She showed me her glove and told me with a serious face, " Maryam, it's thick meconium la." I was post date and the stress of contraction would've caused my baby to poo poo. I kept quiet and being a Paeditaric Dr, that was my biggest fear, that my baby has passed meconium (not light, but THICK!) in utero. Should the meconium entered the lungs, it can cause meconium aspiration syndrome (MAS) and from my limited 4 years experience, I've witnessed few newborn babies died of this illness in my NICU. Nauzubillah.... I wish my friends and my boss were there to stand by for my baby. So, I told Dr Idora, " that means kena caeser la ye?" and she said yes and the only reassurance that I had was that my baby's heart beat was still okay.
I was preped and wheeled to the OT immediately for emergency LSCS. It was really cold and I was shivering thru out the operation. Luckily, my hubby was there to keep me company. I pray to Allah and hope that my baby come out well. After much anticipation, I finally heard the OT staff announced loudly, " Baby is out at 12:29am!" Few seconds after that, I heard the best sound in the world, my baby cried! Alhamdulillah.... Not long after that, the nurse showed my baby to me and as I first layed my eyes on her, I immediately fell in love.

My god, after 9 months of being pregnant, with all the misery, the back pain and swollen leg and skin rash, it all comes to this precious moment...

Hana Khadeeja, so alert even on day 1 of life!

My shout to the world: my baby girl was safely delivered on August 15th, 2010 at 12:29am!

To Dr Idora and the team.. baby Hana says tq very much!!!

My 1st debut to the world

Birth Announcements by WiddlyTinks.com

Labour suite, here I come!!

I'm blogging in between my contraction!

As usual, I was having insomnia these days especially since my unlucky encounter with PUPP but last night was different. I was having lower back pain quite similar to dysmenorrhea (sakit senggugut) and I noticed that my painless hard rock abdomen was getting frequent up to every 30 minutes. But there was no other signs of labour including leaking or show. So I waited till this morning to see Dr Idora as we happened to have our appointment scheduled today.

In the labour room, awaiting CTG recording

Hubby, always by my side

She was worried as USG showed that my liquor volume is very little and the baby can easily get distressed. Vaginal examination revealed that the os was still closed but the baby's head was already well engaged. Luckily the fetal heart is still okay thus, she suggested for me to get admitted tonight for induction of labour and KIV emergency section tomorrow if the labour doesn't progress or the baby is not doing well .

Baby's heart beat is steady (upper graph)

See? I'm already having irregular contraction (lower graph)

Currently, I'm having contraction once in every 10 to 20 minutes. It felt exactly like sakit senggugut tapi x100, started from my lower abdomen and extended to the back. My dear husband tak sampai hati tgk I menangis tahan sakit and tried his mighty might massaging my back to ease the pain. If the contraction is getting regular, I might not need prostin after all.

My dilemma at the moment is whether I should get epidural for pain relieve.. My elder sister who was blessed with easy labour for all her 3 kids was really adamant for natural analgesia "Pethidine should suffice," she said.. Huhuh.. My pain threshold is very low! I'm the kind of person who will pop ponstan for any kind of headache or PCM even for low grade fever! So, takpelah, thanks for the advice but if the pain becomes too unbearable, I will still opt for epidural anyway!

Lagi 1 yg I terkilan sgt is I'll be missing tonight's iftar with my family at Museum Islam KL!! It is an annual event for all of us and I was the one who was planning for this in the first place! Sedihnya.. terbayang2 all the nice desserts like muhallabiah, baklava and their main courses like lamb and nasi bukhari.. My husband told me, " Ala, bila2 boleh makan, maybe our baby wants to tag along, so this year dia tak bagi mama dia pegi lagi.." Alrite, whatever u say, baby!



Okaylah.. have to sign off now.
I'm trying to prepare myself mentally and physically for the gruelling stress of labour.
Wish me luck and doakan I berjaya push my baby out ya.
Doakan jugak dipermudahkan segalanya and that both mommy and baby sihat walafiat.

I'll make a birth announcement as soon as the baby arrived ya! See ya'll after the labour k.

P/s I'm worried about my yummy peanut butter cuppies that I baked last night (blowing my own trumpet, here :p). Tak sempat nak letak cream cheese icing lagi. But they are still tasty when eaten plain anyway.

Confirmed. It's PUPPs!!!!

Thanks to my friend, KC, he diagnosed me of having this rare condition called PUPP. This is my first time hearing about this condition as I've never encounter any of my previous pts with PUPP. I searched the net and found several websites that discussed on this skin problem.

Basically, PUPP stands for Pruritic Urticarial Papules and also known as Polymorphous Eruption in Pegnancy. These fancy skin lesion is actually one of the commonest skin dermatoses (condition) in pregnancy but actually statistically it not that common pun as it only affects less than 1% of pregnant women (and I'm one of the UNlucky few!).

It is normally found in the first pregnancies during the third trimester (tho it doesn't tend to recur in the subsequent pregancy, THANK GOD!), women who carry twins/baby boy (as in 70% of cases, they found male fetal DNA in skin biopsy). Why it happen? The underlying cause us unknown but basically blame it on the hormonal changes and the overtly stretched skin! Most importantly, it is harmless to both the mommy and the baby.

Just like me, it started of as a small red bumps (papules) around and on the stretch mark such as the tummy but always spare the belly button area. The small skin lesions starts to become bigger and later on spreads to the thighs, legs, buttocks, breasts and arms. It can be in a form of redness, tiny bumps or urticaria (macam kena gigit gegata). As for me, rashes ni only made their ugly appearance on my overtly stretched belly and swollen legs and it let me tell u, they itched like CRAZY especially at nite that I have become sleep deprived!!!!! Ive also bacame very irritable, cranky and felt like killing everyone..LOL!

Unfortunately there is no cure for it. Treatment is just symptomatic relieve including high strength steroid cream (i.e betometasone / clobetasol) applied 5-6 times a day to reduce the itchiness and prevent further spread (no wonder mine did not improve that fast as I only use em 3 times a day!). After that, u can change to lower strength steroid cream and use it sparingly once the symptom has improved. Oral steroid is reserved to those with severe itchiness. Oral antiistamine such as zyrtex, benadryl and antarax are less effective in control the itchiness but helps u to doze off when used at night. From personal experience, frequent warm (not HOT) baths do help and please avoid the sun as sweats will make the itchiness worse!

For those who wonder, this condition usually resolved after 1 week of delivery but s mall number of pt have the symptoms up to 6 weeks post partum (Nauzubillah).

Hopefully this answers your curiosity.Doakan that I get well soon ya!

Diagnosis please..

Today, I'm a doctor, a staff nurse as well as a patient. I mentioned in the previous post that I was having a dermatologic crisis for the last 1 week and unfortunately it got worse last nite. The skin rash (uticaria + papules) initially started on my stretch mark but now spreading on both my leg and few on my arms. It appears like an allergic reaction but towards what, I still have to figure it out.

Memang sgt2 gatal tahap gaban! I couldn't sleep at all last nite due to the itch and did not have a heart to wake my husband to help me scracth. Takpelah, biarlah I jadi zombie sorang2...

FYI, I've tried all sorts of cream and lotion from steroids to crotamiton but the condition seemed getting worse.So, this morning, mmg dah sgt tak tahan, I went to the hospital and zoomed directly to the clinic where I worked.

As a last resort, my dear colleague poked me and injected me with hydrocortisone (anti-inflammatory). I left the branula in place at my left wrist for a 6 hourly jab (which I have to do myself at home!).

I intentionally wore an extra long sleeve today just to cover the ugly branula. Coz u now why, kalau orang lain perasan, they must have thought that I'm a lunatic patient who just absconded from hospital!!

Since I entered 40 weeks, banyaknye ujian Allah nak bagi. Please pray that this problem goes off quickly ya!!

And to my dearest medical colleagues, can you be like Dr House and give me a diagnosis? Thanks!!!!

Project Mega..

I'm planning to take the next 2 days off before my 41 weeks check up with Dr Idora. Since today is my sister in law's birthday, what I have in mind is to bake her a chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese icing (u can never go wrong with chocs and cheese). I'll be seeing her for our annual buka puasa at Islamic Arts Museum KL this coming Saturday and I shall give her the cuppies as a present. It is not an expensive gift but at least it is the thots and efforts that count, rite?!!

Before I start my Projek Memasak, I have to buy few baking items: the main ingredients, cupcake trays and cases and not to forget a MIXER! I'm ashamed to admit this but I do not own a mixer. Someone must have forgot to buy me one as a wedding present 2 years ago..hahah. The only baking that I did these past few years was only bread and butter pudding as well as blueberry muffins (i did once after I bought a 'how to bake muffins' book from MPH) and that only requires manual (hand) mixing!

A very cute pink kithen aid

Hmm.. I will definitely post the picture later of how my cupcakes look like (if it turned out okay just like in the recipe book) :p

If I just keep quiet, please assume that something went awfully wrong with the cuppies while I was baking (such as I broke my water bag and went into labour) and NOT that the cuppies burnt in the oven :P

Wish me luck!!